It’s the end of a long day. I have one more stop to make. The person I am going to see will want to chat. I just want to complete our business – quick and simple – then go home.

I really like the person I am going to see. He is an interested and interesting guy. He has a lot of good thoughts. It’s just that it likes to say them all out loud.

So how do I extricate myself without offending him? Or perhaps it is OK if I do offend him. It seems to me that I have as much a right not to talk as he has a right to blah, blah, blah.

But I don’t want to risk hurting any feelings so I try the sore throat bit. “Careful,” I suggest. “Don’t get too close to me. I have had a sore throat for a few days and I am losing my voice” (with an emphasis on the losing my voice part).

That does not deter him.

He does not really need my voice to chat. He is perfectly content to hear his voice.

I start coughing, thinking that will distract him. Nope.

I try to rush our business but it requires each of us to do something, and his tempo is much slower than mine.

I try arguing with him – even taking unreasonable positions. That only fires him up.

I consider passing out but I worry that I might actually hurt my head if I fake a fall.

Finally, I decide to say: “Hey Bill, I’m just not in the mood to chat. How about we just do our business and go our separate ways.”

“Fine,” he says.

But what did he really mean?

For example, any type of option – where an owner has the right to buy or sell an asset for a set price at some point in the future – is a derivative because the value of the option is tied to the value of the underlying asset.

In the entrepreneur’s world, there is another type of derivative – it is a way of thinking that challenges every entrepreneurial venture.

The entrepreneur is trying to change something – a business, a product, an established practice. He or she feels that he/she has a better idea – something that can improve the status quo.

But, many people resist change to the status quo. These people will only accept products, services, ideas that derive from something already in existence.

Steve Jobs did not believe in focus groups. He did not want to be subject to derivative thinkers – those who would only relate to something that they had already seen and adopted. Steve had the money and power to create something totally new – the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad – and wait for people to discover and accept his unique propositions.

Few entrepreneurs have the clout of Steve Jobs. And so they bring their ideas to big companies with Jobs-like clout. But, big companies are heavily populated with derivative thinkers. Many of them profess to think and act like entrepreneurs. But, the truth is that a large percentage of corporate executives are risk-adverse and not willing to risk their positions on something unproven (a perfect example of derivative thinking).

Those entrepreneurs who can stay the course, those are the ones who change our society (and make
themselves fortunes). Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg. I am 1,000% sure that each of them
heard at some time in their careers, “What a dumb idea.” That is because they were bumping up against derivative thinking.

When do you make your offer to purchase?

One option is to make it as soon as you learn the property is for sale.

The other approach is to wait and hope the price comes down.

In my experience, if you intersect a deal too early, you risk giving the seller an inflated sense of value. And a seller who has just listed an asset for sale wants to test the market. Few sellers will accept a quick offer that is at 80% of the asking price.

On the other hand, if you wait too long, you risk some other buyer getting the deal ahead of you. This buyer may even end up paying what you were willing to pay.

In my view, the first step is to do all your homework and figure out your highest price. You then make the offer – sooner rather than later. You explain to the seller how you did your homework. If he rejects your offer, you walk away.

Since you are not going to chase the deal, you might as well tell the seller as soon as possible what you are willing to do. If he does not get an offer in the weeks or months ahead, he will come back to you. If he gets a higher offer, well nothing you can do about that.

The biggest risk is overpaying.

Hoffman believes, as do I, that every person should think of themselves as a business. As such, everyone should calculate their “profit and loss” proposition. Everyone should be asking himself or herself questions:

Am I adding value to my employer? Do I cost more or less than a competitive provider? Am I developing new “products” (skills) that can capture a corner of the market? What can I do to solidify my position in the market? And so on…

Here is an excerpt from an interview with Hoffman conducted by Tom Friedman, author of The World is Flat. It’s worth reading, and sharing with those you care about.

Tom: You’re a serial entrepreneur and venture capitalist. Why did you feel the need to offer this message?

Reid: The path to the American Dream has changed. We wanted to focus on what individual professionals can do to survive and thrive in a flat world. The premise of the book is that all of us are entrepreneurs of our own lives. We must act as CEO of our careers, take control of our professional future, and become globally competitive.

Tom: Really? Anyone can be an entrepreneur? Really? Even me?

Reid: Not only can anyone be an entrepreneur, but they must be. Not everyone should start companies, but everyone must be the entrepreneur of his or her own life. The skills people need to manage their careers are akin to the skills of entrepreneurs when they start and grow companies. For example, entrepreneurs can both be persistent on a plan and flexible when conditions change. They take intelligent risk. They build networks of allies and tap those networks for intelligence on what’s happening in the world.

Tom: What does it mean to be in “permanent beta?”

Reid: Technology companies sometimes keep the “beta” label on software for a time after the official launch to stress that the product is not finished, so much as ready for the next batch of improvements. For entrepreneurs, finished is an F-word. Great companies are always evolving. Finished ought to be an F-word for all of us. We are all works in progress. Each day presents an opportunity to learn more, do more, be more, grow more in our lives and careers. You will need to adapt and evolve forever–that’s permanent beta.

Tom: Why the urgency of The Start-up of You?

Reid: A billboard that once ran along the 101 highway in Silicon Valley summed it up pithily: “A million people can do your job. What makes you so special?” We wanted to give people tools to take control of their lives, without having to wait around for the government or a company to rescue them.

In order to sell someone on a product, service, or idea, one must be passionate, informed, committed, and energetic. If the listener does not feel that the seller believes in the product, then there is no chance of a sale.

But, equally important is patience. Far too many people lose a sale because they go OVER THE TOP in making their presentation. As a result, the listener, who may have started out neutral and interested, pulls back.

None of us like to be sold. We like to believe we are in control. Yes, we will listen to someone’s points. But, we want the freedom to assess in our mind the value of the proposition, and then make a decision. We definitely do not want to be pushed.

My observation is that 90% of people trying to sell something forget that people don’t like to be sold. These salespeople fall in love with the power of their offering, with their compelling presentation, with the resonance of their own voice. As a result, they go too far. They lose sight of the fact that the listener DOES NOT WANT TO BE PUSHED.

If you are trying to make a sale, let the other person come to you. Of course, you need to make a good case for what you’re selling, but then stop. Let the listener absorb what you have said. Let him breathe. You want him to feel that you are on his side – you have a valuable offer that you believe he will benefit from. The minute he feels you’re just trying to make a sale – GAME OVER.

Here are rules for you to remember and implement in attempting to connect verbally with another person (be it a sales pitch, a negotiation, or a romantic overture):

1. People are most comfortable with individuals who speak at roughly the same pace as they do.

Numerous studies have shown that one way to solidify a connection with another person is to mirror his/her speech patterns. This includes content as well as tempo.

A slow speaker is going to be unconsciously uncomfortable with a fast talker. And, visa versa.

So listen to the speech pattern of the person you wish to influence or persuade and make a deliberate effort to mirror its pace. Do not imitate, but generally keep about the same range of speed.

2. Most often, we all speak too quickly.

More often than not, we speak too rapidly when trying to engage or persuade others. When excited, our heart rate and breathing escalate. And, while we may not know it, we tend to increase the tempo of our speech.

So, you should almost always slow yourself down a little bit.

3. The quicker you speak, the less control you have over your comments.

The best way to regulate and tailor your comments to the exact expectations and needs of whomever you’re trying to influence is to put several beats between the origination of a thought in your head and the articulation of that thought.

This is a skill everyone can learn and, in my judgment, one of the most critical talents in the business world. Roll a thought over in your mind – just for a few seconds – before you let it fly verbally. In this way, you increase the power of your words tenfold. When you speak quickly, you eliminate a second or two from the gap between thought and articulation.

A month or so, Lin was an asterisk on the Knicks roster. He was on the team, but barely – and he got very
little playing time. Then, because more established players were unable to play, Lin got his chance.

The results are nothing short of phenomenal. As of this writing, he is averaging something like 25 points
and 8 assists in 5 games, all of which the Knicks have won. He even had 38 points in a win over the Lakers.

The Lin story reminded me of a study that was done by a group of economists (recounted in the excellent book, Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior). They found that professional basketball players were given playing time in direct proportion to their position in the NBA draft – irrespective of on-court performance. The study found that highly drafted players received considerably more playing time than less-heralded players – even when a lower-ranked player was outplaying the “star” on almost every measure. The point of this study was that coaches and management will stick by a decision to play a high-draft choice in order to support that decision – even when it is proven to be wrong.

Lin got his break and is making the most of it. But, others may not be so lucky.

The other day I was watching American Idol. This show is now in its 11th season and has discovered some great young talent, including several (e.g. Carrie Underwood) that have gone on to huge commercial success. So, I wonder: what if this show never existed? Would Carrie Underwood still be a waitress in Muskogee, Oklahoma?

The point I am focused on is how, when, and under what circumstances people get breaks – an opportunity to show what they can do. I have concluded that the only certainty is unpredictability – there is no way to know when your shot will come. And so, the only strategy that makes sense is to be ready, to do everything possible to perfect your craft in the belief that at some point the door to our personal “stardom” opens for each one of us.

Having tried the one thing I know how to do, I called our plumber.

Bruce is a happy guy. But after examining our hot water heater, his face showed real
concern.

Turns out our heater had reached the end of its useful life. It was time for a new one.

Bruce explained:

“Jim, the coils are starting to break up. Pieces get into the motor and the heated water
does not circulate properly and the temperature setting becomes irrelevant because of the
lost motion causing heat loss and water pressure reduction…”

Or, something like that.

Then his face lightened.

“The good news is that the hot water heaters made today are engineered much differently.
They work off an indirect system whereby the BTU’s are much less, without any pull on
your furnace, and with an inverse coil system maximizing fuel efficiency and control.”

Or, something like that.

The truth is that I did not understand 80% of what Bruce was telling me. All I knew was
that he really cared. He seriously wanted me to comprehend what was wrong with my
old heater. He was animated when he described the functionality of the new heater.
It was clear that he enjoyed what he did for a living.

And that was enough for me.

We got the new heater and it is working great. Bruce was not cheap but I believe we got
good value for his services. And Bruce won me over (as he has in the past). The energy
and joy he brought to his profession was contagious and appealing.

It seems so simple: people are attracted to positive energy.

He was too young, too energetic, too loved – but cancer beat him.

At one time he was a famous model, plastered on billboards around the country. Everyone wanted to look like him.

But this weekend he was gaunt and grey, as he fought to stay alive. To be contrasted was his ER doctor, a strikingly beautiful young woman. She did all she could, but the cancer was too strong.

This juxtaposition, the one-time model and the striking young doctor, had a big effect on me. It focused me on the thought that while we all get our chance in the sun, eventually the sun is going to move on.

It made me think about legacy, about what we do when the sun is shining on us so that we will be remembered by those whose turn comes next.

Thinking about our legacy is, of course, a healthy exercise. It requires that we ask ourselves some hard questions about how we are spending our time, energy, and capital.

1. How do we want to be remembered?

2. What do we want to achieve, experience, and create before the sun moves on?

3. What can we do to make life a little easier for those who will survive us?

Everyone has to answer these and other questions in their own way. This weekend just reminded me of the need to periodically reflect on what it is we want to leave behind us when the sun sets.

As you might have guessed, under these circumstances his career took a dramatic turn for the better. Always the underdog (given his prior record), he won fight after fight – eventually walking away with a $5 million purse.

Obviously this is a Hollywood story with no basis in fact. Still, it highlights a well-documented human characteristic – the ability to elevate one’s game when a lot is on the line.

There are hundreds of examples of people who performed “miracles” as needed to surmount incredible odds.

Which raises the question: Do we all have another gear?

Can we motivate ourselves to new heights…can we push ourselves to accomplish more – no matter what kind of effort we may be giving?

Let me give you the thoughts from a man named William James who lived from 1842 – 1910. William James was a physician and professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. In 1900, he wrote a 2,900-page treatise on psychology. He was the father of the American psychological movement. (For those interested in more about this fascinating man, pick up Robert Richardson’s 520-page book, William James [Houghton Mifflin, 2006]).

“Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual lives far within his limits. We all have reservoirs of energy and genius to draw upon of which we do not dream.”

In a word, Dr. William James would say YES, we all have another gear…maybe several.

Jim Randel is the founder of Rand Media Co, the publisher of The Skinny On books, Street Smarts, and the MONEY series.